The First Time
I didn’t remember where or from whom I heard these words. He said ‘once you were forced to be a victim, you would either come to learn how to be a forever sufferer or the strongest man on earth.’
Bad luck lay with me when I was a boy. My family was murdered. Before the night that death came to darken our door, we lived peacefully. There was nothing that could convince us, a faithful Norwegian-Jewish family, to believe that this God-created world was, de facto, a devil’s playground.
*****
Are you thinking that I’d grow up depressed and deranged? You’re wrong. No one had ever diagnosed me abnormal.
I am Paul Sundance Gartner. No need to save my soul. Thank you very much.
*****
The life in S’s palace-like house was at all intoxicated. Although, I proclaimed that I wouldn’t do anything I didn’t want to and I would never get involved in any acts of terrorism, S didn’t kick me out. I devoted my time to eating, drinking and doing researches for world’s peace like an autonomous car and a smart security system. S had never complained. Instead he spoiled me rotten by allowing me to buy as many servers as I wanted to. He appointed me as the Ace of Club or the head of R&D division although I was against every fucking crimes he committed. He also ate with me often.
*****
‘I want you to meet someone.’
S summoned me to his office one day in the evening.
“Why?” I asked.
“Maybe we could blackmail them later.”
“I meant ‘why do I have to go with him?’ I’d rather trace her on my computer.” I protested.
“I've already checked her up and found nothing. I reckon she had plastic surgery. You have no leads.”
“Then I guess I couldn’t help you.”
“You don’t even try.” Ryan interrupted.
“I said I couldn’t because there’s a fat chance that I couldn’t.” I talked back irritatedly.
“But there’s also a chance that you could. You wouldn’t know if you gave up so fast.”
“Do you need my help so much? If that’s the case, fine, I’ll help you.”
“I didn’t say I’d need your help. I can take this job alone. It’s a piece of cake.”
S held up his hand. “Both of you. Stop.”
Of course, we stopped arguing. But I was pouting and Ryan couldn’t stop glaring at me.
“You two will go together.” S ordered. He threw Ryan the diamond. Then he threw me a car key. “Ryan doesn’t trust you. I can’t let my two Aces doubting each other, so, you show him what you can do, Sunshine.”
*****
Ryan drove too fast.
I threw up twice in S’s car.
The next day, in S's office, S scolded me for dirtying his SUV. I told S to drop it or I’d throw up again right on his antique fucking typewriter. And I also made myself clear that I wouldn’t again take a field work. Everyone had to respect my decision or else. S didn’t shoot me. Instead, Ryan and S laughed their asses off while I felt very enraged.
Looking back over the past, I couldn’t help chuckling.
** End of the Sample **
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